mommy · mommy help

Time, Why Do You Punish Me?

You know you’re busy when you’ve been trying to go shopping for pants for three weeks and you have honestly not had any time to do so.  So, finally you sit down at the computer at night after your kid has gone to bed and you just order them off the internet, because walking in to the store feels seemingly impossible these days.  Then you realize after check out that you won’t receive them in time for the family photo shoot that you ordered them for.

Ugh.

No time. There is never any time.  I don’t have time to wash my hair…..okay, okay.  End Jessie Spano monologue. But, seriously, I need more hours in the day.  I have finally lost all of my baby weight (Thank you Jesus, and running, and high cholesterol that has placed me on a strict diet). While this is great news, it has left me with few clothing options because everything is just too big. Good problem. Not complaining, entirely.  I don’t know what the heck happened to my beloved pair of White House Black Market jeans that I wore before pregnancy, but they are  frumpy now, and look like a bad pair of washed out 80’s jeans.  And while that style may be coming back (Lord, help us), it just isn’t for me.  In to the trash they went tonight.

Saturday we are doing a family photo shoot and I’ve no idea what to wear! I often find skirts do not photograph well. Jeans were my happy option, but now I don’t have any.  I’m praying that by some mail miracle they will arrive Saturday morning.

Tonight I had to choose between clothes shopping or running to Publix to order Blake’s birthday cake for this weekend.  I knew the cake needed to be ordered today by the latest, so guess which trip won out?  When you have a kid who goes to bed at 6 every night then your after-work-outing options are limited. I try to push him past 6 but it’s such a battle.

There’s always something to do, and subsequently always something to fall behind on.
-Housework

-Photography sessions that need to be booked but working around schedules is impossible.

-Photography editing

-Blake’s swim lessons

-Planning for work/lesson plans

-Lesson plans for church

-Master’s degree coursework and homework CONSTANTLy, it seems.

That doesn’t sound like a lot when I type it out, but it feels like a million and one things. My entire month of November and December is completely booked. That makes me sound like more of an important person than I actually am. It’s just always something.

The moment I get home from work I just want to relax. And the day when I finally get ahead on everything I do spend time relaxing! For a bit. I come home, play with Blake, give him dinner, bathe, then put him to bed. Then,  I veg and I watch my next fling on Netflix, currently Dexter, and I just sit. I sit and think about nothing.  Well, except serial killers for the time being.
My one night off then causes me to get behind all over again.  I took the “night off” tonight when I should’ve been doing lesson plans, and a quiz for my homework.  Now I’m behind again. But, seriously, I just needed some down time. Shame on me. My floors are disgusting. I need to put the laundry in the dryer. Turn on the dishwasher. Get rooms ready for family to stay with us for a while. Feed the dogs, because I forgot to give them dinner. Again. Get Blake’s lunch ready for tomorrow. Get my lunch ready. And it’s 10:50 and I’m writing a blog post, after sitting on my bum for hours watching TV. I’m so tired I don’t want to get off the sofa. But I need to shower and get to bed. Buuuuut, I really, really have to at least make my lunch for tomorrow and turn on the dishwasher so we have clean dishes for tomorrow before I do shower and bed.

Obviously, I’d rather sit here and complain when in the time of writing this all of those things could’ve been done.

I’m. So. Tired.

It’s a vicious cycle.

With my husband’s crazy work schedule of being on nights, I’m often left to do things alone. Don’t get me wrong, when he’s up and awake then he’s all in, helping me in every way possible.  I tell myself constantly that this is just a season of life.  I don’t particularly like this season of being alone doing so much, raising a 1 year old, though.

I just can’t keep up.

I’ve said it before but it’s worth uttering again.  How do people with more than one child do it? You parents with more than one are my HEROES!

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